hello.
haha i seem to love spoiling people's days.
like i say something depressing and it spoils their days.
wahahahaha.
i'm so evil.
a stupid idiot evil person who spoils people's days for the sake of attention?
yup that's me.
=/

and i've been thinking of scraping my blog.
whatever scraping means.
destroying it.
yeah.
i think i've revealed a bit too much.
heh.
of myself i mean.
and a blog is on the worldwideweb.
which means the whole world can have access to it anytime.
and i wouldn't want the whole world to know about me now would i?
actually the whole world doesn't bother about someone like me.
so they don't really come to read my blog.
i don't even think they know my blog url.
and some can't read english.
so..
anyway.
and a blog is a place where people can come and curse/mock you.
and you don't even know who the person is because he/she puts his/her name as anonymous.
and as some of you know, i get quite affected by these remarks.
yeah.

and i think my purpose of having a blog is to attract attention.
i mean..
i post depressing stuff.
a few people come and read my depressing posts.
and they start telling me.
no it's not true.
don't be so pessimistic.
why can't you accept yourself for who you are.
and so on and so forth.
of course i know wanting attention is no good.
i just..
don't know what's happening to me.

so.
should i scrape my blog or not?
someone answer me.

what have i done?
i really don't want to see you all suffer.
i'm sorry.
it's all my fault.
i made so many of you suffer.
seeing me everyday is already suffering in itself,
and yet i hang out with you,
talk to you,
try to get into your good books by sucking up to you,
want your attention,
want your approval..
i'm just too demanding of you.
it's like,
i want you to be able to die for me,
or something.
and when i don't get what i want from you,
i get worked up.
i'm really not worthy to be your friend.
you should just ignore or desert me.
i don't mind.
i deserve it anyway.
and hate me if you want to.
i won't blame you.
i hate myself too.