schizophrenic..

2007-11-28T15:15:00.000+08:00

hi.
it's been what, 3 months already since i last blogged..
i've been trying to delete this blog but there's no such option..
i wonder why..
but anyway since i can't delete it then i might as well post something..

so. bay camp is just around the corner..
i can't wait..
6 more days..
meanwhile, i have to finish all my homework before i go..
and there's still so much more to do..
oh well. must start chionging before i lose it..
and i still have group work to do after the camp..
ah. what a wonderful time this must be for me.
i just have no motivation to do it..

God, give me strength~

2007-08-23T20:44:00.000+08:00

hello =)
have to mug.
M U G M U G M U G
stupid EOYs coming up term4 week1.
anyway.
will give delayed post(/s) once i finish exams.
wish me luck!
=/

2007-07-09T17:23:00.000+08:00

ack i reallyREALLY need to update.
i'm like posting once in a month.
you are utterly despicable, valerie.
i'm telling you. =/

wilfred: heh yesyes GOOD. haha yeah. i hope you enjoyed it too, what with being the games head and all =)
carmen: haha thankyou thankyou. i added you already YAY! =)

it has just come to mind that this blogger here wants to scrape her blog and has been saying that for a longLONG time but has not come about to do it yet.
this is called procrastination.
and although this isn't really what this blogger here would call an important subject to consider taking immediate action on, she feels mighty bad about it.
right?
RIGHT???
okay and now, this blogger doesn't even want to reply.
how rude.

eeyer i'm crapping all the way!!
=)
yesyes i really need to update.
i shall do just that...soon.
because i currently do not have the time to spend 1 and a half hours on a single post.
but i do have one thing to tell everyone.
and that is that I NEED TO SLIM DOWN.
NOW.
not monitoring my weight hasn't done me any good.
i need to return to my old ways.
as in take down my weight every single morning.
until my weight is just what i want.
i need reminding.
that i have grown fat once again and should not grow any fatter.
now when should i start my routine...
AHA valerie now THIS is something you CANNOT procrastinate about.
you shall start it RIGHT THIS MOMENT, if not i'll come after you with a chopper and chop all your fats away!
=)

now this is called randomnisation. ^^

2007-06-19T10:40:00.000+08:00

i never have time to post nowadays, now do i?

winsome.: lol YES CHURCH CAMP!! but it's over already =( so fastttt not fair.
Anna: HELLO!! yesyes i know you do. haha i'm making one for you already! =) NONONO don't pay i don't make friendship bands so that other ppl can pay me for it =)
isabel: HELLO! yesyes i'm updating RIGHT NOW can't you see? ^^ so relax.
sab(:: hello! lol yeah i sort of miss it too i guess. hmm so sorry i forgot your blog add..! AH how horrible of me. =/
carmen: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO haha..! eh must tell me your msn add hor if not i can't add you =)

church camp.
it came and went so fast.
and BOY AM I GLAD SO MANY PPL HAVE TOLD THE COMMITTEE THAT THE CAMP WAS TOO SHORT!
YES!!!!!
haha yeah true the games team will die but still.
they're doing this for God yes?
so they should be happy! =)
but back to the subject.
i know many of you didn't quite like/understand the messages.
but i think i got something out of it.
even if it IS only 1 thing.
i learnt that FAITH in God is the key thing.
the key thing to what, i don't know.
but you can see that Paul, Joseph and Daniel all had immense faith in God.
and God blessed them with all kinds of successes.
so yeah.
FAITHfaithFAITHfaithFAITH.
lol i don't know what else to say about it.
but the games were fun!
thank you games team for putting in so much effort! =)
and THANK YOU WILFRED for only giving us mealworms to eat and not some other disgusting thing like bittergourd with wasabi and chilli padi. ^^
but darryl's station was damn funny.
we got to slap siyuan so many times haha..!
okay sorry la dude i'm not making fun of you okay.
so i shall say an official SORRY and hope that makes up for all the slapping.
but i didn't do it that hard right..? ^^
yes and apart from that, it was my ANGEL'S station!!!
yesyes darryl's my angel.
and i'm not afraid to say that he's a very nice one.
the presents he gave me were all so cute! =)
THANKYOU DARRYL!! ^^
and joshua's my mortal!!
i hope i was a nice angel to him..
but now i think he's nice to me than i am to him la.
he gave me a book.
a BOOK for goodness' sake.
and all i gave him were sweets and chocolates. =(
eeee okay this has made me realise that i'm not such a good angel after all.
i shall work on my angel skills and become a better angel by the next camp!
hmm..
i'm not very sure if this camp has helped me spiritually or not.
but one thing's for sure.
i've finally started doing qt everyday!
like WOW valerie this is a good improvement from last time!
i still remember i always say that i will start doing qt and I NEVER DID.
but now i did.
and i'm happy!
first i must thank God for giving me the will and determination to start doing qt everyday! =)
and i must thank my leaders too!
timo and shushu!!
yesyes they are my wonderful leaders who helped me to start doing qt.
so THANK YOU!!!
i appreciate it.
really. ^^
OKAY enough about camp.
although i can't get enough of camps..
and back to the real life.

I STILL HAVEN'T FINISHED MY HOMEWORK..!!!!!
diediediediedie.
it's already the last week of the school holidays.
and i'm left with more than half my work UNDONE!!!
great.
JUST great.
okay i shall go off and start doing it now.

i haven't seen it in a long time.
maybe i should start doing it again.
i'm...happy seeing it.

2007-06-04T21:53:00.002+08:00

i'm sorry.
you should know what for. ^^

winsome `]: er it's a concert band. we got silver.
weijian: hey yo =)
char: hey! thanks heh. and what you mean i'm not online??
Ting: heyHEY!! long time no see ya? ^^
sab: HELLO!
alvi: hey! er my mortal's anna, as so said in 3a2 person's tag..
3a2 person: wa so coincidental ah all in the same row..! o.0 haha only my mortal from somewhere else ^^
EMILY (: hey! =) yesyes i'll remember what i said. heh thank you for praying for me! ^^
JESSLYN: YESYES i'm updating if not i wouldn't be able to reply your tag. -_-"

OKAY now that's taken care of.
went to watch blades of glory recently.
damn funny!
can laugh through the whole show ^^
but shouldn't be rated PG cos i think it's too crude for kids to watch =)

and i watched dirty dancing: havana nights last saturday!
omg diego luna is cute!
and the dancing is damn nice man.
i wanna learn =)

you see you see?
haha he's damn cute ^^ <3

okay enough blabbering for now.
in the meantime, church camp2007 is up!
wheee i can't wait.
as usual =)
so see you (church ppl) there! ^^

2007-04-11T21:39:00.000+08:00

wheeee my superabandoned blog has finally been revived again!
thanks to nicenice people who tag =)
and of course me!
ahahaha just joking. =)

maryann sux: hello!! and i am NOT hyper okay. look at yourself. so much more hyper than me ^^. and btw you do NOT suck. =)
Anna: helloooo! haha yes thank goodness you're my amaths partner if not i would be so slow i couldn't copy down everything that ms wong said and understand her at the same time.. and of course i don't mind you linking me..! i've linked you already too haha =)
winsome `]: haha thanks..! you too for getting what, first prize is it..? =)
jesslyn: haha yes it's fun but it's copyrighted by my school.. okay maybe other schools are playing it too but anyway. =) we can play it during church camp what. so look forward to that period of time! =)

argh my appetite has recently diminished to a mere 30% of my usual.
probably because of the upcoming SYF.
which reminds me that it's in 9 DAYS..!
and i don't think we're that well prepared yet.
oh and congratulations to band for getting yet another silver!
i like their songs ^^
GOLD WITH HONOURS..
i want. =)

and i want to go out..!
with all my friends.
i can't wait until it's all over.
then i'll be free!!
but for, what, one week..?

life's rushing by so fast i don't even know what real life is anymore.

2007-03-29T21:00:00.000+08:00

heh at least the interval between this post and the last one isn't as drastic ^^

phyllis: haha yes glad you still remember.. must pass it to me some time okay =)
Joel: hey yo. haha yeah you probably won't be seeing me on saturdays unless i come for dinner.. and yeah stuff's been okay i guess. more or less back to what it was the last time ^^. but thanks for your concern though! =)

ahh my tagboard is dead.
i need someone to like spam it or something.

guesswhatguesswhatguesswhat?????
we're playing angel/mortal in school!!!!!
can you believe it??
SCHOOL!
ahahaha i'm like so high about this.
especially when our class is like lagging behind a1 and a3..
lol jinle why you announce to the class so late =)
oh well..
angel/mortal's FUN!!
but i must say that having a mortal that is of the opposite gender is easier than having a mortal of the same gender.
and i've probably told that to how many people.
i don't know.
oh well.
it's the giving and seeing your mortal happy that matters ^^

and i have CHINESE ORAL TOMORROW.
OHNO OHNO OHNO OHNO DIEDIEDIEDIE
i don't know what to talk about!!!!
great.
maybe i should just take grace's advice and do on friends vs parents.
heh thanks grace for giving me ideas =)
okay i'm OFF TO DO IT.
bye y'all!

i wonder why you don't sense it.
haven't i made it obvious to you already?

2007-03-21T22:20:00.000+08:00

blog deadness.
sorry.

maryann: oh come on i already told you the reason. and trust me, you do not want to poke me. i'll get damn irritated. =) and go sleep! or just get used to the little amount of time you have for sleeping ^^
maryann: haha yeah i probably sound too happy. oh well..
EMILY (: YES i relinked. REALLY made to worship is your blog song?? cool =).
EMILY (: yeah that song is nice ^^. and btw what happened to you today? are you okay now? okay i may not know what exactly happened but everything will be okay. trust me. and if you do need someone to listen to you i'm always here yeah? =) cheer up! ^^

it's truly amazing how i tell others to cheer up when i myself am sad more often than not.
i'm sorry that my posts don't have very much substance.
i feel like destroying this blog.

bring it on.
i'm so ready for it.

2007-03-08T23:06:00.000+08:00

timo: haha i'm smiling a lot more now right.. ^^thanks!
maryann: OF COURSE I'VE LINKED YOU! can't you see? =)
winsome`]: yes i'm glad you think so too. the homeytem makes everyone so shack =/
maryann: yes FINALLY you realised =). awww so sweet of you to hug me! ahaha i know you love me =). oh man since when was i that ego.. yeah anyway i'm fine la. much better than last time =). thanks for your concern!

waaa i think there's something wrong with blogger.
apparently other people can see my previous post (which i deleted) but i myself can't see it..
like, hello?
why can't i see it???
it's MY blog isn't it.
oh well.
it's the last week of school!
and the start of the march holidays!
and..the start of endless homework that we have to do during the holidays..
great.
now i can relax.
with the outrageous amount of holiday homework we have, i'm sure we're all going to have a VERY relaxing holiday.
and plus , like, 3 almost-full days of harp, it's practically going to be the most enjoyable holiday i've ever had.
a most enjoyable holiday doing homework and mugging, i mean.
how to cram so much homework into so few days, i ask you?
i'll practically bring my homework everywhere to do, i guess.
oh well.
no use complaining.
must plan my time properly!
yeah.

it hurts.
so much.
but why..?

2007-02-20T13:34:00.000+08:00

bleh.
time to reply tags.

p.s hey esther sorry if you think i'm copying you but i'm not. i just think this is a better way of replying tags than hogging up the tagboard=).

winsome: haha okay you can stop saying it's cool already because it's way over =).
carmen: haha yeah it's quite nice la though i've heard from some people that it looks like some nunnery(how do you spell it?) =/
winsome: wahhh your school change back already ah not fair!!! this homeroom system makes everyone so shack la blehhh.
EMILY (: haha YES i relinked you already!
anonymous: yes thanks for your concern but if you think it's annoying and that i should stop it then why don't you come and tell me yourself instead of tagging by an anonymous name?
psalm 121: haha yeah i know my help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. thanks =)
blossy: HEYHO blossy! =)

recently i've been listening to this song a lot.
it's super nice! =)

Made To Worship

Before the day
Before the light
Before the world revolved around the sun
God on high
Stepped down into time
And wrote the story of His love for everyone

He has filled our hearts with wonder
So that we always remember

*Chorus
You and I are made to worship
You and I are called to love
You and I are forgiven and free
When you and I embrace surrender
When you and I choose to believe
You and I will see who we were meant to be

All we are
And all we have
Is all a gift from God that we receive
Brought to life
We open our eyes
To see the majesty and glory of the King

He has filled our hearts with wonder
So that we always remember

*Chorus

Even the rocks cry out
Even the heavens shout
At the sound of His holy name
So let every voice sing out
Let every knee bow down
He is worthy of all our praise

*Chorus x2

i think i'm getting the gist of life back now.
=)

2007-02-08T18:59:00.000+08:00

hello.
i'm so sorry i haven't had the time to post lately.
but that seems to always be the reason why i don't blog.
oh well.

i've been feeling really sian and tired these few days.
and my concentration and feelings have gone down with it.
really stressed up by my mother, my teacher, my friends.
always feel like sleeping in class.
having trouble keeping my eyes open.
and that i'm becoming more and more antisocial.
i'll just sit in a corner of the canteen and eat.
i don't even hang out with my clique anymore for breaks.
i'm losing the drive to study, do qt, pray, practically everything.

and she thought she was helping me.
all she did was make my life worse.

take me to my deathbed.

2007-01-26T21:58:00.000+08:00

damn.
it's back again.

i actually thought it was over and done with.
but it came back.
i hated feeling like that the last time.
and now i still hate feeling it.
but i guess i can't help it.
i just wish it would leave me alone.
what did i do to deserve it..?
i really want to give up.
i want to end it.
sick of so many things.
mostly sick of myself.
i have no place on this earth.
it doesn't need another loser like me.

it's taking its toll on me already.
i give up.

2007-01-19T20:29:00.000+08:00

okay REALLY SORRY i seriously haven't had the time to up date.
man look at how many days i haven't updated.
since 2 jan.. o.0
wa.
quite long.

the reason why i haven't had the time is because of my hectichectic schedule.
we now have a new system in the school.
its something like in JCs, or so we were told.
called the homeroom system.
where the teachers now have their own classrooms, or homerooms as we call it.
and the students have to walk to that particular teacher's homeroom for lessons.
while carrying their heavy overloaded bags.
well you might think that this is pretty okay.
but the other problem is that the school does not know how to allocate reasonable timetables.
just look at mine.
from monday to thursday, our schedule seems quite qing song.
however on friday, we have 6 subjects, have to bring more than 10 books, more than half of which are thick and heavy, and the day officially ends at 4pm.
and i also have cca on that day.
and by the time i get back home, it's already 7-something in the evening.
look how ridiculous it is.

okay i shall stop complaining now as it's making me frustrated.

boy oh boy i'm going to have problems finishing my homework this weekend.
and i also have to go out like now.
for what i also don't know.
come and waste my time.
haiya.
okay i'm going.
bye.

2007-01-02T11:53:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
okay one day late but whatever.
2007 is here!
man how time flies.
already another year is gone.
so have you wasted 2006?
have you done anything worthwhile or good or whatever?
have you shared the gospel?
well i can tell you that i tried to.
just that it didn't really come up to anything.
oh well.
must try and try again!
haha.

i guess 2006 was a rather..eventful year for me.
and also a BIG wakeup call to tell me how stupid i am.
but nevermind.
i shall not make the same mistake again.
it costs me too much.

anyway.
on a lighter note,
OUR NEW SCHOOL IS FINISHED!!!
well almost anyway.
it's damn nice la.
and my mother said the design of our new school looks similar to the design of ACS(I).
which just happens to be my brother's school.
probably because both schools are related in a sense.
but anyway.
we can finally go back to our promised land!
YAY!!!

oh man school's starting tomorrow already.
and we all have to WALK to the new school from the old school.
which means that like 1400 ppl are going to walk to the new school.
wa sure create havoc one.
so many ppl.
siao la.
okay i must go pack my bag for tomorrow.
seeya =).

i want to tell you.
but..i can't.
it's too much for me to handle.
..i'm sorry.

2006-12-25T20:03:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!!!

okay.
about last night.
we had the christmas service where the choir had to sing again and the skit ppl had to perform again.
then we went for caroling!
deck the halls with boughs of holly FALALALALALALALALA!
so fun man.
and joel kept making me laugh la.
like we sing the song halfway then he make some funny facial expression.
then i will laugh like crap la.
funny wierd person(no offence) =).
hahahahahahaha.
then hozzy also.
go and do like some sadistic action.
then i will laugh again.
alamak.
then she say i must control my laughter.
but how to control when you 2 are so damn funny, i also don't know.
even now when i think back i will laugh again.
haha =).
okay then our last stop was at nicodemus' house.
i actually don't know who nicodemus is but just go there sing can le =).
then his mother(i think) made food for us!
like i think everything was prepared by her la.
power.
and it's damn nice la.
the food i mean.
and she gave us presents too!
so nice right.
not like me just give card only =).
but, and i shall quote jesslyn here, it's the thought that counts.
like she keeps saying that.
okay anyway.
then we went back to church and had a stayover!!!!
first time i have ever stayed over for christmas.
damn fun.
some of us like stayed up the whole night and didn't sleep at all.
and i think no one felt tired.
until like this morning when we went for breakfast.
then jesslyn fell asleep on the table.
i see her also sleepy.
then we went home to sleep.
in the car also sleep a bit.
then hit the pillow instant knockout.
never slept so fast in my life.

oh ya and a big THANK YOU to those ppl who were nice enough to give me cards/cards+presents.
really appreciate it!

well it's the last week of the holidays already.
so fast right.
and i still have homework to do!!
AHHHHHHHH!
must chiong liao.
for those of you who don't have anything to do, enjoy your last week of freedom.
okay bye!

2006-12-20T18:42:00.000+08:00

a BIG SORRY to everyone who has been visiting my blog..
after camp inwade i had to go off straight away for my overseas trip to spain/portugal.
and now i know i'm lucky to have been able to go there.
that part of the world is damn nice la.
especially the sunsets.
beautiful man, i'm telling you.
but the food, i'm sorry to say, was a bit horrible.
halfway through the trip, i started missing singapore food.
now i realise how nice the food here is.
and strangely, i didn't miss this trip as much as i missed my other trips overseas.
but don't get me wrong.
the tour leader was the best man!
damn funny la.
sawadikap(however you spell it).
me from thailand na.
my name Surathchai na.
...
why you no se-mile na?
thailand land of thousand se-mile, so why you no se-mile na?
you no se-mile me also no se-mile na.
me very sad na.
wa that was by far the most entertaining accent i've ever heard.
so much that now even i have started talking like that..
sometimes.
he could do a lot of other accents too.
like some indian accent and mr smith accent, whatever that means.
and some more, i can't remember.

and i bought a jersey for timo!
haha hope he liked it.
once he said "any club", my situation became very dangerous already.
like, what if he doesn't like the club?
the colour?
what if the size is wrong?
haha but he seemed happy with it.
i emphasize on the word 'seemed'.
maybe that was a surface expression.
maybe he didn't like it at all, but thought it would be very paiseh to tell me because i went all the way to potugal to buy it?
maybe.
i just hope he liked it.

okay enough about my trip.

ccis!!!!
wa the first day was like chaos man.
it like rained the whole time.
then after our choir peformed, some of us didn't have a place to sit down anymore.
so we went to the back.
then the wind came and blew the rain in.
that was like damn sian man.
oh well.
at least the choir doesn't have to peform everyday.
i pity the skit people.
the have to perform from monday to thursday la.
quite shack.
poor them.
jiayou!

oaky i gtg now.
i'm actually typing this in like some volvo company place.
and we gtg eat dinner liao.
so see you!

2006-11-27T15:51:00.000+08:00

BAY CAMP OI!!
haha sorry i'm just too excited.
and it's tomorrow!
wow how time flies.

and i'm damn tired today.
couldn't sleep last night.
i was thinking about myself being angry at my brother for some reason.
then i slammed the door on him and locked myself in my bedroom and cried.
then i thought.
what if when i slammed the door on my brother,
his finger got caught?
then this thought eventually evolved into my brother's whole head being smashed and all bloody.
basically lying dead on the floor.
i thought of how i would start screaming and crying.
then i imagined my family members.
one by one lying dead on the floor with their heads cracked and all bloody.
then i imagined some people i know lying dead on the floor with their heads cracked and all bloody.
some of my friends.
then..
i thought of myself in their place.
i imagined my head being smashed by the door.
and while i was feeling more and more scared when i thought of other people dead,
when i pictured myself,
i sudenly felt a bit calmer.
a bit happy even.

can someone tell me what's wrong with me???!!!
please.
i can't take it anymore.

2006-11-21T13:06:00.000+08:00

hello i'm back!
sorry for not posting again.=)

and BAY camp is just round the corner!!!!
wheeeeeeeeee!
i can't wait.
camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp ca-
okay nevermind.
you get the idea.
and it's gonna be in choa chu kang..
so far..
but i guess it's nice to have BAY camp in a different environment.
I
CAN'T
WAIT
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hee okay overreacting.
sorry.

and nowadays i don't even have the guts to weigh myself.
because..
i PUT ON WEIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
alamak back to my diet again.
haven't been thinking much of my weight.
oh no.
valerie how could you??
you horrible person!
go back to your diet right NOW!!
and when i say now i mean NOW!!!!!
..
sorry.
i think my randomness has come back.

okay.
blah blah blah blah blah blah i don't know what to say anymore.
oh ya.
i was thinking..
should i bring biscuits to camp so that i won't have to eat the whole packet of food?
that way i won't waste food.
and maybe won't gain anymore weight?
yeah.
but wouldn't that be wasting my money?
after all the camp fees include food payment right?
okay..
maybe i should just not eat and give my food to someone else.
ahh.
oh wait maybe not.
that way i'll be causing inconvenience to some ppl.
good grief valerie what are you thinking?

okay i should stop thinking now.
my thinking too much will probably lead to drastic results.

oh.
and the choir thing in church.
now all of us have the songs stuck in our heads.
..
and the soprano has to sing so high.
walao.
i know i was in soprano 1 last time.
but i think i've lost my touch already.
and my voice is horrible anyway.
should have gone to alto.
=/
oh well.
too late.
and i realised that i'll be missing like 4 practices.
!!!!!!!
howhowhowhowhowhowhowhow???
won't be recording 3 songs.
which means that i won't know how to sing them.
OH NO.
HELP!
maybe i can learn them myself?
oh well.

my suffering hasn't ended.
it's only just beginning.
i wonder how much longer i can take it.

2006-11-07T17:19:00.000+08:00

heh i always never post.
oh well.
i'm posting now aren't i?
=))

anyway.
i'm going to arielle's house tomorrow!
for some movie marathon.
wheeee!
one whole day of watching movies.
how fun.
haha probably gonna get boring after a while but who cares.

i hate myself.
i suck.
i should just die now.
or maybe someone should come and murder me?
yeah that's a good idea.
so whoever's reading this post now and hates me like crap,
you can consider killing me in my sleep anytime.
wait.
don't consider.
just do it.
haha nike o.0.
whatever.

how i wish i had the guts to do it myself.
but.. i don't.
too bad.
sigh.
i really suck.
don't understand how my friends even put up with me.
or manage to.
they all hate me.
i'm certain of it.

'playing' cs is really getting into me.
i'm not even affected by it anymore.
it's just a routine of self torture.
what so great about it?
no one knows.
no one cares.
no one bothers.
frankly, i don't bother either.
i just want to end everyone's suffering.
by ending my l___.
haha that sounds quite nice eh?

oh well.
i hope someone realises soon that i'm an idiot and kills me.
then i won't have to go through all this anymore.

2006-10-24T11:08:00.000+08:00

hello.
haha i seem to love spoiling people's days.
like i say something depressing and it spoils their days.
wahahahaha.
i'm so evil.
a stupid idiot evil person who spoils people's days for the sake of attention?
yup that's me.
=/

and i've been thinking of scraping my blog.
whatever scraping means.
destroying it.
yeah.
i think i've revealed a bit too much.
heh.
of myself i mean.
and a blog is on the worldwideweb.
which means the whole world can have access to it anytime.
and i wouldn't want the whole world to know about me now would i?
actually the whole world doesn't bother about someone like me.
so they don't really come to read my blog.
i don't even think they know my blog url.
and some can't read english.
so..
anyway.
and a blog is a place where people can come and curse/mock you.
and you don't even know who the person is because he/she puts his/her name as anonymous.
and as some of you know, i get quite affected by these remarks.
yeah.

and i think my purpose of having a blog is to attract attention.
i mean..
i post depressing stuff.
a few people come and read my depressing posts.
and they start telling me.
no it's not true.
don't be so pessimistic.
why can't you accept yourself for who you are.
and so on and so forth.
of course i know wanting attention is no good.
i just..
don't know what's happening to me.

so.
should i scrape my blog or not?
someone answer me.

what have i done?
i really don't want to see you all suffer.
i'm sorry.
it's all my fault.
i made so many of you suffer.
seeing me everyday is already suffering in itself,
and yet i hang out with you,
talk to you,
try to get into your good books by sucking up to you,
want your attention,
want your approval..
i'm just too demanding of you.
it's like,
i want you to be able to die for me,
or something.
and when i don't get what i want from you,
i get worked up.
i'm really not worthy to be your friend.
you should just ignore or desert me.
i don't mind.
i deserve it anyway.
and hate me if you want to.
i won't blame you.
i hate myself too.

2006-10-15T20:23:00.000+08:00

hello again.
hah this seems to be the first thing i say everytime i post.
but whatever.
sorry for not posting regularly.
as usual.=)
too busy thinking about c________ s______.
haha no la.
and apparently a lot of people know what c________ s______ means.
i'm lousy with words la.
i know.
=)

but is it THAT obvious?
i don't know.
probably is.
since a lot of people know what i always think about.
haha i'm too guang ming zheng da.
o.0
i probably like attention too much.

anyway.
results were..
horrible.
almost every subject dropped.
and i failed history.
yay.
i'm a genius!
hooray.
i love myself.
and..
that's all fake.
don't listen to it.
so my hopes of going to triple science are dashed.
but i think i can make it to physics/chem + pure lit.
i hope so.
wish me good luck.

okay.
for some reason my left palm looks really old and wrinkly compared to my right.
hah.
okay whoops.
random.
next.

boy do i keep forgetting that i should not post depressing posts.
so that people won't get affected as well.
well, probably most don't really care.
i don't blame them.
who wants to care about me anyway?

heh i'm sinking deeper and deeper into my own self-made quicksand pit.
and i keep struggling.
when shall i stop?
when my head is submerged in the quicksand?
yup.
then i won't be able to struggle anyway.

2006-10-09T09:10:00.000+08:00

okay.
YAY exams are finally OVER!!
and that was like last week. =)
ohh well..
yay can slack now.
NO MORE MUGGING.
but the results come out like on wednesday.
that is really REALLY fast.
can you at least let us who have mugged for so LONG have some time to have fun??
in the end it's like less than one week after the exams that we get back out papers.
and boy am i going to fail all of them.
someone congratulate me.
i'm retaining next year.
yay!..not.

anyway.
so now the exams are over.
and i can finally concentrate on other stuff.
like how my fr -..
okay nevermind.
and how about me c -..
wait WAIT.
no one wants to hear this.
if you want to know just ask me then.

haha i just realised.
in my depression, i make other people depressed as well.
darn it.
but it's okay.
i shall just keep everything to myself from now on.
so that other people won't be affected anymore.
don't worry, i can take it.
trust me.

heh if anyone has read my foolscap paper,
which i think no one has except i think one person,
you would know how i'm thinking of c________ s______.
go figure.
well i feel like doing it now.

is this really me?
that i should end my life now
to block out my suffering and pain
is this what i have become?

2006-10-02T19:12:00.000+08:00

sorry for the LONG LONG wait you all.
hahaha i know i haven't been posting for a while.
stupid exams.
making my brain LAG.
too much information.
not registering.
i am going to be SO dead for the rest of the exams.

but thank goodness geog is over!!
there were like 42 chapters to study. o.0
why do they want to test us on so much stuff anyway.
like it will be of any use later.
and i didn't finish like half the paper.
which is why i'm going to fail it.

anyway.
VALERIE WHY AREN'T YOU STUDYING?!?!?!
go NOW!

i said NOW!!

HELLO?!
WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
GO!
NOW!

okay okay i'm going i'm going.
well, this is what happens when you don't study enough. =)

2006-09-20T17:39:00.000+08:00

yay all my orals have finished!
but i think i probably failed both of them.
=/

anyway.
now i can continue eating chocolate!! =)
actually i still ate chocolate even when i hadn't had orals o.0.
ahahaha whatever.

now comes the HARD HARD part.
compos!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH..
and great after like how many weeks my vocabulary STILL hasn't increased.
no mood to copy down the hard words and look them up in the dictionary?
probably.
heh i'm so lazy. =)

i just CAN'T wait for the 6th of october when all the exams finish.
then i'll be FREE!!!
then i can play 24/7 until my head drops off.
hahaha. =)
but for now..
it's MUGMUGMUGMUGMUG for the EOYs.
wish me good luck.
i would probably find it really hard to concentrate on studying.
distracted by computer/TV or whatever.
ahhhh..

"No temptation has ever seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." - 1 Corinthians 10:13

heh since when did i start referring to bible verses?
oh well.
it must be a good thing.
anyway it's good encouragement.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5

16 more days and counting down..

2006-09-17T19:30:00.000+08:00

again.
yet again.

i was just thinking.
why do people like to make fun of me?
is it THAT fun?
especially strangers who i probably don't know.
anyway that particular problem was solved.
but in this case,
there's someone who i know that's making fun of me.
someon who knows that i volunteered myself to become a peer lite.
calling me a loser,
saying that i want to make the sec1s as depressed as me.
like, why would i want to do that?
that's the thing i least want to do.
the results would be horrible.
the sec1s would hate me too.
in the end i would make them fail all their exams.
but who would want to do that?
i certainly wouldn't.

anyway.
what i'm saying is,
i don't understand why people like to make fun of other people.
especially if the person they're making fun of is someone they hate.
okay,
i understand that there are some people who hate me.
and..
who want to go to the extent of tagging in my blog?
maybe..
i don't know.
someone who hates me so much that he/she wants to tell the whole world what i stupid idiot and loser i am?
most probably.

but i don't get it.
i didn't tell anyone whom i wasn't familiar with that i wanted to volunteer to be a peer lite.
unless..
it's someone whom i'm actually FAMILIAR with that hates me and doesn't think i would be a good peer lite.
but at least i want to try my best?
i'm not THAT bad a candidate, right?

...right...?

or..
maybe i'm thinking too highly of myself.
maybe i really AM an idiot.

ohh wait.
i AM.
i am the worst living thing you have ever seen.
i'm just worthless.
probably even God hates me.
and of course now i'm doubting God.
sorry..

anyway.
yup.
i'm an IDIOT.
i'm a STUPID IDIOT.
i'm a LOSER.
i don't deserve to live.
i should be DEAD.
which is actually quite apt, since i'm thinking _______..

so,
i want to take this time to thank *somebody*.
for giving such a truthful comment.
i can't think of anything better to say.
so..
well said.

now i realise why people like to make fun of me.
it's because they WANT to.
they think it's so fun, making fun of me.
because i will be affected by their harsh comments.
because i will be so affected that my life will come crashing down on me.
because they'd like to see that happen.
because..

they HATE me.

2006-09-17T15:51:00.000+08:00

hey.
couldn't get to my blog i think a few days ago.
there was some glitch i think.
but whatever.

anyway.
sorry.
i didn't have time to post the last week therefore..
yup.

so after one week of holidays,
here we are back at school again.
and now is officially the start of dehumanization.
and after one week of dehumanization,
my brain is well and truly DEAD.
we get worksheets after worksheets.
practices after practices.
man am i going to be SO GLAD when the streaming is over.
so this period of slugging it out for next year is going to feel like someone put a block of pure metal on you and you have to withstand its weight until the 6 of october where some kind soul comes and FINALLY lifts it off your back.
wow.
wouldn't the feeling be great.

but for now,
let me concentrate on studying.
ohh wait.
i can't concentrate.
too many things on my mind.
as always.
not concentrating,
distracted,
not concentrating,
distracted,
not concentr- ...
never mind.

everything is going wrong with/for me.
or at least,
everything seems to be going wrong.
i know some problems are solved,
but more problems are showing up.
taking place of the previous problems.
constantly occupying my mind.
why...?

oh well.
by the way, *somebody* has a point there.
i really AM a loser.

2006-09-10T21:28:00.000+08:00

hey.
heh sorry didn't feel like posting the last 2 days.
a lot of things caught up in my mind.

anyway.
went for bay yesterday.
a change of topic for the next 2 months.

we are God's masterpiece,
and were not accidentally made.
God made us for a purpose,
for a reason.
now our goal is to find that purpose.
and at the same time,
we should try to live Godly lives that are pleasing to Him.
and since we are God's masterpiece,
we should not do anything that inflicts pain onto ourselves,
that goes against Him.
because by doing that,
we are hurting and going against God too.
He feels the pain as much as we do.
He made us for a purpose,
and that purpose was not to hurt ourselves or to go against Him.
that purpose is probably to spread the gospel,
to be God's messengers,
to testify to His wonderful works,
to go out to all the world and save those who have not accepted Christ,
those who have not had the chance to listen to God's word.
and even if that is not our ultimate purpose,
we should still live a life that is pleasing in His sight.

i really felt that this was directed at me.
but at least it really hit me that i was doing something wrong,
something that hurts God.
i guess i really wasn't thinking straight..

and i want to thank those cell people who stayed upstairs to really talk about my problems and try and help me pull through them.
victor, timo, joanne, joel..
i really can't thank you guys enough.
they prayed a lot for me too.=)
ohh and thanks victor for that..um..kind gesture?
haha..
yup that really encouraged and helped me so thank you again.=)
i really appreciate it.

2006-09-07T18:24:00.000+08:00

i am SUCH a horrible horrible idiot.

i never think before i speak.
neither do i think before i act.
which are probably the main traits i have that make people angry/sad/disappointed/worried.
great.
i think God's making me more and more horrible so that one fine day, someone will come and kill me.
and that will be the end of the world's worst inhabitant.
what a nice and common-sensical fate, don't you think?

and look at what i'm doing now.

i'm posting depressing stuff that make people depressed and sad and disappointed and angry.
depressed because, obviously, the tone of the post itself is depressing, therefore..
okay this sounds a bit like history..
anyway
sad because of me, because i just can't seem to look on the bright side of life and am overly pessimistic.
disappointed because of me as well, because i'm so stuck on what i think of myself that other people can do NOTHING to help me.
and angry because of me, because i can't change my thoughts of myself.

see?
these are some of the things i do that affect/impact other people so much that i think most of them dread talking to me now.

someone told me not to keep all my thoughts to myself, and to vent them out on my blog.
maybe she doesn't know that by doing that, many many other people will start feeling the way i feel too.
and that's obviously not good.
not good at all.
especially if the feeling is bad.
that will turn out to be utterly disastrous.
so, for once..
maybe keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself is a good thing.
better than venting it out on my blog anyhow.
for the sake of the people who read my blog.
or even BOTHER to read.

it's better that only one person feels bad.
rather than so many other people feel bad as well, when they haven't done anything wrong at all..

right??

okay that was a stupid question.
of course it's better that only i feel bad.
i really don't want other people to feel bad for me.
that's a horrible feeling, trust me.

wait i just realised.
even while talking about how my posts are always so depressing, i end it in a depressing way too.
darn it.
i shall not say anymore to prevent myself from saying anything stupid.

2006-09-05T14:12:00.000+08:00

if there were one person in this world whom i could get rid of, that person would be myself.

i mean seriously, every single thing that i do causes at least one other person either anger, disappointment, worry or sadness.
and come to think of it, there has been not one thing i have done that makes people happy.
even if i don't do a single thing, at least one person would be angry or disappointed or worried or sad..
and the list goes on and on and on..

causing worry is the worst thing that could ever happen.
i really don't want people to worry about me.
because that makes them sad.
and i don't want people to be sad because of me either.

what is wrong with me?
i just can't seem to do anything right.
or anything at all for that matter.

and i was just wondering..
why did God create me?
i know the Bible says everyone was created for a purpose..
but i really can't see the purpose of creating me.
like, what am i supposed to do?
what CAN i do, in fact?
i'm lousy at everything.
i can't do anything right.
i cause people to be angry/disappointed/worried/sad all the time.
no one is happy when they are around me.
i make people feel really depressed/stressed.
okay there's too many to write.
i can tell you more if you want to ask.
but seriously..

i'm sure everyone hates me.
i hate myself too.
heh.
which probably makes me the world's worst inhabitant.

and what do you do when you want to get rid of the world's worst inhabitant?
kill me.
please.

2006-09-02T17:23:00.000+08:00

ok i guess i'm feeling a bit better now.

but i miss school! ahahaha.
no wait. i miss my FRIENDS in school. yup that's it.
especially ESTHER. ahahahaha.
the nice person who tries so hard to counsel me when i'm sad or when i cry.
although it doesn't really work. =)
awww so sweet. thank you!
never had a nicer friend. =)
but come to think of it, counselling me seems to make her feel a bit down too.
i think even sitting down beside me when i'm drowning in my own sorrows does so.
SORRY. i really am. don't feel bad, okay? =)

oh yeah and i've been feeling really sick and tired for the past few days.
i'm trying my hardest to cry.
that seems to be the only way to express my feelings. but only to empty space. no one else.
but it's not working.
i've pleaded God to help me cry so many times but i just couldn't do it.
maybe i've cried too much on wednesday?
i don't know.
someone must help me cry sooner or later.

and i broke my promise.
to a certain 2 people.
i'm so sorry..
i can't believe that it's only one day into the term break and i'm breaking my promise.
actually, i don't even think the term break started yet.
anyway.
i even told myself that i'm going to stop doing it FOR GOOD.
and look at what i just did?
i'm a horrible, HORRIBLE person.
i'm REALLY REALLY sorry..
please forgive me?
but trust me, i felt really bad right after i did it.
and it's really hurting to look at it, touch it and think about it.
i just let 2 of my friends down.

i'm the most despicable person you've ever seen in your whole entire life.
just say it.
trust me.

2006-09-01T16:24:00.000+08:00

hey.

happy teachers' day. so it's a holiday for us students. yay. how exciting.

i really don't feel like doing anything at all. i can't seem to concentrate either. just last night during my erhu lesson, most of the time i was thinking about stuff, so i didn't really pay close attention to the teacher, and when we were playing the songs, i kept playing it wrongly. according to my father, who also learns erhu with me, i looked tired, sick and in my own world.

hmm. that seems to be true.

and then today, i was doing my maths worksheet halfway, and because there were a lot of things caught up in my mind, i stopped doing it and just stared at the wall.

and this, combined with my parents calling my handphone so many times today just to check on me and my brother and nag at us to study, is going to make me mad very soon.

and i'm really very tired now. i'm like stoning so many times while typing this post. even music doesn't help perk me up. and it's quite loud too.

ok sorry i just don't feel like continuing anymore. i'm just damn distracted now.

2006-08-28T19:58:00.000+08:00

sorry i didn't post for so long. not in the mood to these days. because of SOME stuff (i shall not mention any specifically).

ok. so. update on my life.

its the last week of school! yay =). but unfortunately it's turning out to be horrible already. we had to do a compo today and we really weren't in the mood. and then tomorrow we have to practise oral.
wow. WHAT a nice way to start the week.

ok and now the stress is really getting to my head. i think i'm a bit mad now. things have been happening. i'm trying really REALLY hard to control my emotions and it's working somehow, but i think i will soon explode into a million pieces and unleash the demon in me. and by that time, i think it will be too late.

nothing seems to be taking my mind off ______. but i will try my best to get rid of the stupid feeling inside me now. even right at this moment as i'm typing this, i'm actually forcing these words out of my mind just for the sake of updating for you guys who read my blog (not that many people read it).

ok i've vomitted out all i can. i'm too tired to try anymore. maybe i'll try to end this soon. i'm making you guys feel really depressed just reading this, i know. trust me.

2006-08-16T18:14:00.000+08:00

hey. yay another update (finally). heh.
ok i seriously don't know what to say. but because of CONSTANTINUPLE THE GREAT aka Judith =), i had to write something. bleah.

there i wrote something already. happy now?

ok now down to serious business. jodie and i finally remembered to go and get the larissa lam cd only after mrs han reminded us =p, and hearing from others who also bought the cd that the quality of the sound was lousy, i kind of regretted buying it. but actually the sound quality is good. its just that first part of the first song that sounds wierd but the rest are okay. although i must agree that she sounds nicer live than on a cd.

and my dear partner didn't come to school today. i was quite worried for her. i thought she was sick or something, but after reading her post yesterday, i really thought she was going to..
ok never mind. anyway if you are reading this, kim, i really hope you will come back asap so that we can have our very own lovely kimmie again! ahahahaha.

and art is really stressful. and when i say stressful i mean STRESSFUL. all our work must be handed up by next week. and this WHOLE week we have tests. i ask you, is this unreasonable or what? and we have to do like cutting and layering and what have you. i can't stand doing art anymore.

and according to jos, whoever he is, i am stuck up. i know this is the worst thing that could ever happen, but i seriously don't know in what way i am stuck up. all my friends say i'm not, i'm not. but i can't help but feel that it's true in some way. can someone tell me whether or not i am stuck up?!

i feel like killing myself now.

2006-08-07T19:45:00.000+08:00

it's funny how little things can provoke me to tears.

i ask you, is crying more than once every single week for the past 4 weeks normal to you?
no?
i didn't think so.

if you notice carefully, i never cry in front of my family or church friends or anyone else for that matter. the only people i cry in front of are my school friends. it's funny that i feel 'safer' so called with my school friends than with my church friends.

you might think that it's at least a bit safer with church friends as they are in your CHURCH right, so obviously it's much 'safer' there. but i just feel more open within school. it's like, i'm not that open in church because i'm afraid that people will laugh at me there, and say things like, "what a crybaby" or something like that. the point is, things like that often happen in SCHOOL and not in CHURCH, as not everyone is that close to you in school and you most probably don't know like more than half the school population. but i just feel that i can be more open to my friends in school.
i don't know. things are just..different when it concerns me.

and i feel as if i don't have any real friends at all. not in school, not in church, not anywhere. my past 'friends' now all walk past me as if i'm not even there. like not even a glance or a smile. i probably have like only 2 closer friends in school. and the funny thing is, both are not in the usual group of friends that i hang out with. they are people i got closer to just this year.

i told you there is something wrong with me.

people say i have very low self esteem. i'm pessimistic. i'm starting to think that i'm probably going overboard, crushing myself under the weight of my negative thoughts. i don't know. i'm feeling really confused inside. what's happened to me?

i feel like crying now.

i hate myself.

2006-07-24T20:34:00.000+08:00

ok it has been more than one week since i last posted. so i will post now. =D

anyway.

there's a lot of homework today. the teachers have officially gone siao. first day of the week then still give so much homework. then there's the anticipation for our tests which i'm probably going to fail. and to top it all, my mood has been changing so fast lately that i can feel siao one moment and crappy the next.

there's something wrong with me.
come to think of it, there's always been something wrong with me all this while.

and art is so freaking hard to do. i've been cutting it like siao and part of it is going to drop off already. maybe i've been drawing the lines too closely. anyway, i'm still quite confused about the whole paper cut thing. mr leow keeps explaining to me and until now i still don't get the whole thing.

crap.
i told you there was something wrong with me.

and i keep feeling like crying. like over small matters. and its mostly small matters. although i can't remember any big ones. oh well. like my friend gets angry with me and i start crying when i get back to my classroom. note: this is real, not just an example.

i don't know. i think i'm like quite frail or something. maybe i treasure friendships a lot. so if there's only a LITTLE controversy, i can get very upset over it. the point is, until now, i still don't have i real best friend whom i can share all my thoughts with. even within my group of friends in 2a2, i still don't feel that safe. i don't even feel really safe with my 3 best friends from primary school. maybe it's because i don't have any real best friends that i treasure my current friendships a lot, even if they are not that close. maybe it's because i think these groups of friends that i have now can disappear any moment. then i'll be left with no one but God, which is actually all i need. but i still need friends on this earth, this standby place before i go to heaven, right?

God, please help me.

2006-07-17T16:59:00.000+08:00

hey.
ok a change to the last post.
i support Jonathan and Paul and Hady and Gayle. full stop. end of story.

ok back to real life.

i cried 2 times in a row today.

ok bye.

2006-07-07T20:15:00.000+08:00

singapore idol!!!!!!!!!!!!
wheeeeeee so fun. all the 12 finalists are good man. of course there some exceptional ones. but i still support Paul Twohill!! and Jonathan Leong!! and Gayle Nerva!! and Mathilda D' Silva!! and Rahiman Rahim!! ok maybe these 5 are the exceptional ones. but these 5 better be the top 5. they have the potential ma=D. but seriously, the standard is much better than the last season.

ok enough of si. lets talk about something more interesting.

how about soccer? ok actually i myself am not very interested in it but i know which teams are good and which teams are bad=D. and all the good teams are out. great. like brazil, england and germany all have those famous soccer players like Beckham and Rooney and Ronaldhino and Ronaldo. ok i'm not very sure who is in which team but still. at least i know their names right..

right??

still, italy against france. who will win? france of course=p.

ok this is getting boring. singapore idol is much more interesting. wahahahahahaha=D sorry if i've broken the hearts of soccer fans but i seriously don't care about soccer.

oh well. bye i don't feel like talking anymore.

2006-07-03T18:07:00.000+08:00

yo. FINALLY my internet connection is working. thanks to the person who helped to fix it. forgot what his name was. ah well.

and now..i can surf the net again!! whee!! wahahaha whatever.
wa long time never log on to msn. sian. must log on more often now that the internet connection's fixed.
and i LOVE my braces!! wahahaha no problem with them so far. no ulcers/cuts, no nothing. which is good. thank God ahaha=D. want to change to green the next dental appt. green, my favourite colour!! whee hooray for GREEN!!

and HOORAY for PL!! just finished our 90-hour music marathon at 10min to 1pm today. it was a blast man. like half the school was there. plus other ppl too. but when they started the countdown i was behind the stage guarding the harps. wa very wasted. never see the whole show. but could hear it though. quite exciting. then like behind the stage is another entrance to millenia walk so there were a lot of ppl walking in and out, but mostly in. then i was standing there like an idiot guarding the harps and being extra. then again, if i didn't guard the harps, someone might come and take one away or break one of the strings or something like that. oh well. then ppl came in and got quite interested in the harps lol=D. i was quite amused, seeing looks of surprise and interest in harps. well, since i'm in harp myself, it isn't a big deal.

then one ang-moh guy, like quite young one, came and stood in front of the harps, and he said, "i like your harps." i was like, um. ok. then he asked me if he could like play something, like pluck one string. i was like, um. ok. again. then he plucked the lowest c-string. like 2, 3 times, but he couldn't hear it. then he was like, "i can't hear anything." pluck, pluck. "oh well, i still like your harps. have fun." then i was like, um. ok. yet again.

seriously, i didn't know what else to say. then there were these 2 girls probably from my school i think, who came with him. then when i agreed to let him pluck one string, they were like, "she's so scared!" then i was thinking like, " oh shut up. oh wait. maybe i am. oh well."
wahahaha i seriously am so antisocial sometimes. lol.

and i just realised something. no one has explained to me what is the meaning of justification, sanctification and glorification!!

ok. bye.

2006-06-28T11:33:00.000+08:00

heyy..
ok. blog finally updated. there's something wrong with our home internet connection so couldn't access the net. therefore can't play computer, can't post, can't surf, can't do anything!! argh. anyway now i'm in school posting this. our IT teacher has a lot of work to do so he's giving us this lesson to do whatever we want. and since i haven't been on the internet for soooooo long, i might as well do every single thing i possibly can that requires the internet.

1. post on blog
2. play some computer game
3. watch youtube videos =D
4. surf as much as i can!!

yup. that's about it. so i won't waste so much of my time here now. going to watch videos!! =D ok gtg now. only half an hour left. and i can't wait for the captain's ball match on saturday!!

ok. bye.

2006-06-21T11:59:00.000+08:00

oh yes. i forgot to talk about something.
angel&mortal!!!!!!!!!!
wheee it was super fun during the camp. especially when my angel was supersupersupersuper nice to meee! yupp thank you moses!!!!!!!!! my best angel ever! woohoo.. and i was nice to my mortal too(of course). yup and i'm glad shushu liked my presents=). see, i'm a NICE person=p. lol. anyway i plan to be equally nice to my future mortals=). wahahahaha that sounded quite..um..i don't know. ahh forget it.

and WHY is the june hols ending so fast?! like yesterday felt like the first day of the hols, then now last week already. hai.. but come to think of it, there wasn't much to do during the hols except homework, of course. oh, and study(duh). but after that there's nothing to do already. like want to go out also don't know where to go. everywhere seems so boring. like i've been to places like science centre and omni theatre and discovery centre and the zoo and bird park etc etc like a hundred times, and now even the thought of going there makes me sick. the only nice place i can think of going to is escape theme park but then it rains everytime i want to go there. crap. i could go shopping, but my parents don't allow me to go out with my friends without 'adult supervision'. like what crap is that.
okok maybe it isn't so good to go out without my parents at my age.
i could go to the library though. there my parents don't have to stay with me because there's nowhere else to go from there. but the problem is both my parents are super busy since the church camp so they work until like 12+am or something. there was this one time my father told me that he went to pick my mother from work at about 4am. siao right. sooo late la. oh well..

ok gtg eat my lunch now. bye.

2006-06-18T17:07:00.000+08:00

hello!
yes yes posting because some ppl want me to. blah. oh well.
YES CHURCH CAMP WAS SUPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wahahahahahaha. learnt a lot from this one=). in fact, i learnt the most at this camp than at all the other camps i've been to. don't know why. maybe it's because i worked so hard to be able to go=). or maybe it's because i took down notes. yes yes i'm such a good girl. lol=). ahh, at least i found the speaker easier to understand this time. timo said i had matured in my spiritual growth. well, thanks timo but i'm not very sure. i just took down whatever i heard and roughly understood. none of it really got into my head i think.but nvm, i will revise my notes and refer to the Bible to try and understand more of what the speaker said and if i'm still not sure, i will ask the older youths. yup=).
if only the camp were longer though..
and tomorrow we have to go back to school for harp. ahh. oh well, i guess its a break from slacking around all day at home=). and i miss playing harp too.
ok enough talking for now. quite tired. then later have to go for father's day dinner.. ahhhhhhh i'm sure to be dozing off after a while=).
wheee i've got fee-ling man! lol

2006-06-08T17:26:00.000+08:00

YESS ITS TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hooray for church camp. and i bet its going to be better than the last one. wheeeeeeeeeeeee!! must get myself physically, mentally and spiritually prepared for it. i can't wait man!!!!!!!!

and life with braces seems to be getting more normal. however the only thing i can eat is like rice and some vege and tofu(lol) etc etc. quite limited. but i'm prepared for it. the problem is i'm losing more weight even though i'm eating like a LOT. like now i'm 49.6kg when i'm supposed to be 50.somethingkg. crap. my mother said if i'm going to lose more weight then i'm going to be really sick and will have to see a doctor. argh why are things going wrong for me NOW??

oh well. cannot make myself feel any crappier. must be HAPPY! and church camp here i come!!

2006-06-02T10:44:00.000+08:00

ok. its done.
I HAVE MY BRACES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and they're blue. ok actually i was thinking green, but their green looked a bit too bright for a first timer. so i chose blue instead. and now i'm beginning to think that the blue i chose looks a bit like grey.
GREY?!?!
argh. oh well. bye!
happy happy me!!

2006-06-01T09:08:00.000+08:00

i cannot stand it anymore.
holiday homework is always beyond my limits, now i can't even do half of them?!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!
seriously, is there something wrong with me, or is there something wrong with my homework?
great. now i'm becoming more stupid by the second, so very soon, i won't even know how to do everything anymore.
*bangs head on the wall*
*smashes plate on top of head*
*runs down the stairs, falls and breaks leg*
*hops with one leg up the stairs and tries to run down the stairs, breaking other leg in process*
*drags body to the kitchen, takes knife and slits wrists*
"thats it. shes dead."

i hate myself.

2006-05-29T16:03:00.000+08:00

come onnn, 1kg more!!!!
just one. please??

ok actually that was quite random.wahahaha. but now i think i have to eat more somehow.
WOW BIG SURPRISE!
wahahaha. but seriously. if i don't eat more then when i put my braces on i can eat practically nothing, so i will become like a stick=). ok not really. but still.
and i know my target weight is 4_kg, but now i think thats a bit too guo fen already. like now i'm like 50/51kg, so it should be fine right? no need to go to such extreme heights, because when i put my braces on i will most probably become this weight so. argh i have to find some way to eat more!
ahahaha.
but now i don't seem to be putting on weight even though i'm eating more. like yesterday morning i weighed 50.6kg, and in the afternoon we went for a mother's day lunch. and even though i had those ring things, i ate like super a lot. then today i weighed myself again[i weigh myself every morning btw]and i weighed 50.4kg?!?!?!

wa crap la.

2006-05-27T12:15:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not the school hols?!?!?!?!?! noooooooooooo this is going to be sooooooo boring. argh i can't stand it i want to go back to school and see my friends again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok. overreaction again. sorry.

anyway i went to the dentist yesterday again. and the doctor took out the separators FINALLY after one whole week. come to think of it, the space between my molars felt quite...empty. wahahahaha. but then he put these rings on my molars, one for each corner of my mouth. but first one of the nurses put something like cement in the inner part of the rings so that when it settles, it will be stuck to my teeth. so now, whatever i eat, it will taste like metal. eww. and i can't eat anything hard or sticky if not later it gets stuck to my braces and then my braces will come off. like what crap is that?
and now i keep feeling this metal thing poking into my tongue and cheeks. wa very uncomfortable=(.

but still. i'm prepared for it.

and we have SO MUCH HOLIDAY HOMEWORK to do. like shouldn't the school show some compassion at least and give us less homework? like now its more stressful than before the exams la. and then the STUPID ivp. walao so freaking stressful. why do they even give this kind of programme?!
and then comes the music marathon. i have to play the guitar for practically every song, and there are like 16 songs i think. and then i still have to teach siv and archanaa how to play some songs. wahahahaha i become lao shi already.=p

anyway. happy hols everyone! and i can't wait for church camp=D.

2006-05-22T20:58:00.000+08:00

yay sivhanyaa came back today!!! and so did kimberly.
apparently both their grandmothers...passed away...
i feel so freaking bad for them.
ARGH i hate may2006. why so many ppl pass away?! God what did you do? why did You take my friends' loved ones away from them? they didn't do anything wrong, did they? why WHY WHYYYYY?

ok sorry for my overreaction. it seems that i'm getting so worked up and upset about my friends losing their loved one when its not me. wahahaha actually i should be. that's what friends are for.

wa i reached home at guess what time. 7.50pm!!!! like what the. today harp finish sooo late. like 6.50pm like that. anyway i was helping to do the harp notice board.
and today ANOTHER STRING BROKE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? WALAO CAN I DIE LIKE NOW? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!?!?! LIKE A FEW DAYS AGO OR I DON'T KNOW WHEN I 'BROKE' A STRING, NAMELY THE LOWEST F STRING.
AND TODAY ANOTHER STRING BROKE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! AND WHAT'S WORSE, ITS THE HIGHEST F STRING??????
WHAT THE HECK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHAT AM I , LIKE CURSED OR SOMETHING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
then now michelle just HAS to tell ms wong and mrs lum and now ms wong wants me to teach the sec1s how to string the harp. LIKE?! hello i wasn't even THERE when they taught the sec1s2005 now to string harps, and now they want me to teach the sec1s2006?!?!?!?!?!?

CRAP. i want to die now.

2006-05-19T15:24:00.000+08:00

i went to the orthodontist today. FINALLY. and the doctor put separators between my teeth.
and now my teeth hurts like crap. i can't even talk properly as in pronounce words properly. and i can't eat or say anything without hurting my teeth. great. what a most WONDERFUL treatment this is.

but actually this is good. because now i can't eat anything so i can slim down. yay!
but i'm jsut wondering. if putting separators is already this uncomfortable, what about next week when i have to put my braces already? is that going to kill me? i think so. i'm the type of person who has absolutely no ability to withstand pain so if its too painful i can just faint. wahahahahahahaha. i'm SO frail.

and i didn't see sivhanyaa today again. are you ok? how are you feeling now? oh my gosh i feel so bad for her.

2006-05-17T19:08:00.000+08:00

i wrote a poem. don't ask me why i wrote it.

Rejection

Rejection
My greatest fear
My worst enemy
It surrounds my mind
And fills it with its dreadful calling

Rejection
My greatest ally
My fiercest friend
It spurs me on my lifelong journey
Ascending towards my special place in God's kingdom

Rejection
My greatest encouragement
My constant mindset
It tells me that God will still accept me
Even if others reject me

Rejection
The contradicting force within me
My life is meaningless without it

2006-05-16T18:20:00.000+08:00

ok i forgot to put this in the last post.
happy mothers day! to my mother of course. what you think, i say happy mothers day to all the mothers in the world? you siao ah, like i care about all of them.
wahahahaha. ok i'm not so bad la.

and today we are having a mothers day dinner. GREEEAAAT. now i'll get fat again. actually 2 times over. i'm still having ANOTHER mothers day dinner in June for my mother's side of the family.
are all my family events fated to make me fat in one way or another?!

oh well. i'm pleased to announce that i will not eat a lot for dinner even if is at Jumbo. the fact that its Jumbo makes this a whole lot worse.

AND i'm EVEN MORE PLEASED to announce that I HAVE GROWN 2CM TALLER AND...
LOST 6.2KG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOORAYHOORAYHOORAYHOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so now i'm like 165cm tall and weigh 51kg.
WOW. the last time we weighed ourselves was like the first day of term1 the first pe lesson i think. and at that time, i was 163cm and 57.2kg. HELLO. BIG difference in weight don't you think?
well, i think NOT.
i seriously need to lose MORE weight. this is NOT enough. i want to be like 4-something kg. like..how about 45kg? wahahahahahahahaha yes that would be fine. at least MUCH better than now 51kg. *sigh* so sian.

and my friends tell me that i'm balding. well, thats true. my grandmother says its because i'm trying to lose weight like eg.dieting. she read that off the paper. oh well. thats what my friends say too. wahahahahahahaha i'm SUCH a cause for concern among my friends. sorry guys. i'm really really really times infinity sorry. but i seriously can't help it. i'm probably destined to insult myself for life, and NOT because i like it, esther. like who likes to insult themselves? i'm only insulting myself because everything i say about myself is 100% TRUE.

ok i'm off to take a bath and then rush off for dinner. wish me good luck that i won't be tempted to eat and eat like a pig and control myself. oh maybe i don't even need controlling. wahahahaha the food will probably be something that i don't like. then i can not eat it! hooray!

wahaha.

2006-05-14T17:16:00.000+08:00

hooray its the end of our harp performance at PLMC!!
AAAAND the start of a new week without any exams(not fair. i want exams!!=))and LOTS of homework to be handed in and so on and so forth.
crap.
have i mentioned before that the period after exams is even worse than the period before exams? because we will have a lot of homework and the teachers won't treat us nicely anymore=).
sooooo sian/tiring.

HOW AH????????? tomorrow HOW????????? crap tomorrow school ends at 2.55pm. then ms loh(ms loh tai lee, not ms adeline loh)wants us to stay back for our lit presentation. like, HELLO?? as if we have enough time to do homework already. and NOW she has to come and ask us to stay back. but that's not the problem. the problem is we also have to hand in our festive lamps and D&T files. ms quek said we could stay back after school to do our festive lamps if we haven't finished. but i still have harp at 3pm!!! die already. what to do what to do what to do?!?!?!?!?!?! someone help me. please. i'm half dead already.

the only highlight for this week and the next 2 weeks is that FINALLY after SOOOOOOOO MANY weeks i get to go to the dentist to get my BRACES done. wheeeeeeeee!! but other than that, nothing else.

argh.

2006-05-11T19:04:00.000+08:00

wheeeeeee exams are OVER!!!!!!!!!!
but there's still harp.. aiya so troublesome. must stay back everyday just to practice how to walk in and sit down and pick up the harp and put up the levers and play and put down the levers and put down the harp and stand up and walk off and/or carry the harp. but of course it helps with esther. wahahaha. now she kena also. but still. i do most of the work. why????????? i don't know. ahh whatever.

then today during english lesson we had this writing workshop thing. well we have this workshop thing every thursday so..ya. then mr richard asked us to do something then he started calling out names to discuss the setting that we did last week. he called sivhanyaa first and he said that her setting was very good and asked her to CONTINUE WRITING THE WHOLE STORY BECAUSE HE WANTS TO SEE HOW IT GOES. do you know what this means? it means that her setting is SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER times infinity EXCELLENT times infinity.
then he called me some time after, and when i sat down, he started talking.

[dialogue]- take note of the CAPITALISED WORDS
Mr Richard: ok. i have nothing to say except EXCELLENT. NO MISTAKES AT ALL. ok, maybe one but the rest is PERFECTLY FINE. i think yours is ONE OF THE TWO STANDING OUT PIECES IN THIS CLASS...ya IT IS. and i think that you HAVE THE MAKINGS OF A WRITER...
Me: *super softly*erm..what?!
Mr Richard: ...after i read your setting...*ok i can't remember what he said here*...but this is an EXCELLENT PIECE. yup. ok, so any questions?
[/dialogue]

ok. so it went something like that.
but WHAT WAS HE TALKING ABOUT?!?!?!?!?! like he should have told this to judith and robyn and jodie and sivhanyaa and many other ppl(of course he did. what AM i thinking??). in fact he should have told the whole class this. but WHY ME????? WHY??????????????????????? LIKE WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS??

ok then look at what sivhanyaa said.
[dialogue]
Sivhanyaa: ok. i have a *something something* in crapology and a phD(ok i don't know how you write this)in moronic sciences. you what, chimology ah?
[/dialogue]
-_-""

ok sorry for that upstart just now.i was getting a bit siao like i usually do these few days. wahahaha i'm going mad. MAD, i tell you, MAAAAAAD.
ok yep, that was what i meant.=D
ok. so what is WRONG with me and my crapping?!?!!

argh.

2006-05-09T20:55:00.000+08:00

hi. another post from me. lol.
ok seriously i'm finding it harder and harder to find time to post now. like i have so little time. harp EVERY SINGLE DAY and then still have tuition and erhu on wednesday and thursday. aiyaaaaaaah. sian.
and...
hooray i got esther's watch!!! wahahahahahahahaha. blur her. she forgot to take her watch when she left for german. heh sooo forgetful. but me, being a VERY NICE person, took it for her. wahahahahahaha. i am SO good. ah whatever.=) esther must say a thousand times thank you to me for helping you take your watch hor. haha.
and she also said that i'm sounding more and more like sivhanyaa. as in i'm becoming more sarcastic.
..
well, for one, i can NEVER sound like sivhanyaa because she is one of the REALLY SUPER PRO ppl like esther=D who can imitate all sorts or accents, and also, sivhanyaa is NOT sarcastic. oh wait. she is. ah who cares. so long as i get across the fact that i can never be sarcastic. NEVER.

i love kang kong!!!
ok that was seriously super random. seriously. i don't know whats gotten into me. maybe its because TWO PPL have been influencing me by crapping all day. or maybe its just me.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

2006-05-07T15:51:00.000+08:00

ok. just for fun. =D
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

2006-05-06T22:20:00.000+08:00

FINALLY I post something after one WHOLE month. hooray. haha.
ok. seriously I've been thinking of scraping this blog. like no one ever comes to see it, and that's because I don't update it, so what's the point of keeping this website? huh? hai.. someone give me some advice can? should I scrape this blog or not? SHOULD I?????????? or should I NOT??????????? argh. I'm having a headache now, and its all because of this stupid blog. and maybe partly because of how I've been feeling lately. like I have 2 friends who somehow or other ALWAYS make me feel bad like everyday. seriously. like I don't know how they do it. argh. am I like too gullible or something? sheesh. ok forget it. i'm having more of a headache just typing this thing.

2006-04-08T15:45:00.000+08:00

hi again. sorry for the long unupdated blog thing, but like some other people, i'm sort of loosing the will to post, but then again, i think i just have not enough time. like the last 2 weeks were almost hell for me. plus my mother actually took away the keyboard so that me and my bro would not be able to turn on the computer[?!?!?!]. yup.

..

argh now i don't even know what to type..ok fine i'll just talk about what's happening[for those of you who are simply not interested about knowing wha's happeneing to me the just go away]. as i said so earlier, the last 2 weeks were like hell for me[sorry if i sound crude but i just don't know any other way to put it], and you know what? the worst thing is..

..

I ACTUALLY GAINED WEIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
like, 2kg i think. crap. and now my nose is getting really rough and ugly[not that it wasn't before]. double crap. ok i don't think i want to say anything anymore. too demoralised. haha. ok bye.

2006-03-30T17:36:00.000+08:00

3 men were chatting; one was American, the other Japanese, and the third a Singaporean. As usual, they started bragging about themselves.
The American said, "When I die, people will look at me and say, 'This man has lived his life to the fullest.' "
The Japanese looked at the American and said, "Oh, no no no no. That not good enough. When I die, people will look at me and say, 'This man lived an honourable life.' That better, that better."
The Singaporean looked at the Japanese and said, "What the..?! You call THAT better? Oh please. When I die, people will look at me and say, 'He's moving.' "

2006-03-25T17:45:00.000+08:00

to all those nosey pokers[you know who i'm referring to], i updated my blog. happy now?
ok now already one week of term2 has passed, and today is the bay bbq day! hooray haha.. but it sort of rained today. but since now its not raining, then i guess its still on. anyway i'm sure it will still be on even if its raining. things will work out, one way or the other. but anyway, i'm sure everyone's excited..right? ok fine, at least a bit, a teeny tiny bit. there, now there's no objection=D. i can't wait for it either, and its less than one hour before it starts!! but still have to wait 25 more minutes before my aunt comes to pick me up. crap. but i can wait, of course i can. after all, in the end i'm still going, whether or not i can wait. so see everyone there!

crap its more than one MONTH before my next dental appointment. now THAT i cannot wait for. argh.

2006-03-20T20:21:00.000+08:00

ah..
the term break is over..
and a new term of school..
hooray..
ok not really..
but still..
anyway really hooray for the bbq on saturday..
although i wonder what there will be..
hmm..
ah whatever..
go there then see lol..
anyway pray that God gives everyone a good week1 of term2 ahead..
and for the rest of the term and the year..
and forever and ever..
ahaha..
well, its true what..
oh well..
got lots of homework to do..

2006-03-13T16:17:00.000+08:00

hello..
hooray for the term break!
haha..
but still..
a lot of homework to do..
and still have to study some more..
but it's good..
revision for term 1..
help to refresh your memory and get ready for term 2..
=D
oh well..
at least i got to go to bay last saturday..
cause it's the hols..
but then my mother said since she let me go last saturday, she won't let me go this week cause she's letting me go to the barbecue on the 25th..
and i can't wait for it!
but the problem is all the food will be fattening..
which is bad for me..
but i guess one night wouldn't hurt..
haha..
see, you guys should be happy that i'm willing to eat like siao[sort of]for the barbecue..
well, partly it's because i already paid for it so if i don't eat happily wouldn't i waste my mother's money?
yeah so..
but don't get me wrong..
i'm still trying to slim down..
because i'm still fat..
haha..
ok you guys should be sick of me by now..
but nvm..
i can't wait for my dental appointment this week!
because if i don't get started on the treatment now, i'll probably kill myself or like do something drastic..
i really REALLY cannot wait anymore..
i've been delaying it for like 2 times now..
so one more time and i'll just..
explode..
but i'm quite sure i won't miss it this week so i'm still sane and happy..
haha..
and i cut my hair..
and it looks nicer to me since last time my hair was way messy and wavy..
so now at least it's shorter and neater and straighter[because the hairstylist sort of ironed my hair to make it look rebonded but don't worry it's only temporary]..
oh well..
enough about me..
ok bye..

2006-03-10T18:36:00.000+08:00

ok..
in the end i didn't get to go to the NDC to get my braces started..
my mother had some problem with her leg and my father had some meeting so they both couldn't bring me there..
so in the end my mother postponed the appointment to 17 march..
which is next friday..
so..
yay finally i'm REALLY TRUELY getting the treatment..
at least i think so..
oh well..
lets hope for the best..
and while waiting my father says i should practise brushing my teeth..
not just every morning and night but also after every meal and snack and whatever not..
so..
yeah..
i've started..
haha..
but still not very successful..
so must try harder..
and pray too..
ok..
that's all i have to say..
end of story..
bye..

2006-03-04T18:19:00.000+08:00

ah finally..
another weekend..
and next week is the term break too!
oh yay!
haha..
anyway today about 72 secondary2 pupils from our school went to the zoo with about the same number of secondary2 pupils from ACS[Barker]..
it was quite fun i guess..
except for the treasure hunt part..
we had one at the end of the trail and we were supposed to find answers to 20 questions all around the zoo..
but the problem was we were divided into 20 groups and had to find the answers with 2-3 ACS guys..
which actually was quite ok..
just that me and my friend seemed to be 'in control' of the whole thing and the guys were just following us around..
which makes me feel quite bad because we at least should give the guys a chance to choose where they want to go..
but in the end they had no opinion so both of us just went around with them tagging along..
didn't really talk much..
just discussed where we wanted to go..
but at least my friend talked to them..
she's more sociable than me i think..
because i didn't really talk to them at all..
but she was like asking them where they wanted to go and all that stuff..
ahaha..
oh well..
sorry i didn't update my blog for the past week or so..
really no time..
oh well..
bye..
[thanks to jesslyn who thought saying 'chowz' was wrong]

p.s do you guys think i'm not sociable?

2006-02-23T14:58:00.000+08:00

hello..
i just went to the National Dental Centre today..
to get my braces..
and it turns out that the dentist asked me to go home and think properly first before i decide whether i want to wear braces..
because i have to make that commitment to wear braces for 2-3 years and then wear retainers for another 1 year..
so..
my appointment has been moved to 7 March..
which is more than one week away..
argh..
why must i wait again???
i've already waited for 3 years and now just when i am about to get braces i have to wait another 2 weeks..
walao..
another long wait until i start my treatment..
oh well..
i guess its good to think carefully first..
ok chowz..

2006-02-19T16:29:00.000+08:00

hello again..
yay my dental appointment is coming this week!
ok, i'm mad..
ok i'm not..
anyway you may probably think i'm mad being happy about a dental appointment, but i have a good reason for being happy[lets hope it really IS good]..
i'm going to wear braces!
um..
is that something to be happy about?
oh well..
i'm happy so this should be a happy occasion[on my part]..
but actually most people hate dental appointments..
but i'm going to love this one..
you know why[apart from having to wear braces]?
because when you put braces you can hardly eat anything for maybe 2 weeks or more so this way i can't eat any food[except maybe porridge]!
yay!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm telling you, this is a REALLY happy occasion for me..
ahaha..
i'm mad..
oh well..
chowz..

2006-02-14T10:38:00.000+08:00

ok..
so now vday celebration is over..
and today i have no school!
yay..
my principal declared it last friday..
since when she announced our school's o'lvl results she was like very happy..
cause she said our more than 80% of our express students qualified for jc..
then the whole school cheered..
then she later announced that she declared tuesday off cause she was very happy with the o'lvl results and because it was valentines day..
so..
..
tada..
here i am back at home typing this..
but i have to go soon..
still have homework to do..
then i still have to study for lots of common tests..
in fact this whole week is nothing BU T common tests..
so there..
seems that this 'holiday' is not going to be really fun after all..
nothing to do but study..
so..
chowz..

2006-02-10T15:08:00.000+08:00

wa..
another week of school is finally over..
and now i can concentrate on the weekend..
which is..
..
vday celebration..
yay..
ahaha..
can't wait for it..
guess niether of you can wait as well..
hm..
ok ok ok..
i'm saying the obvious..
which is kind of crappy..
haiz..
why do i talk crap like everyday..
oh well..
see you some other time..
chowz..

2006-02-08T18:35:00.000+08:00

yay finally i got over and done with the performance..
it was quite scary actually..
but after it was over i was like 'phew!'..
but the last part was a bit messy..
sheesh i don't know who was that person who played so messily..
maybe it was me..
haha..
but i was like sitting right at the side..
right in front of everyone[the audience]..
aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh..
that was the worst part..
oh well..
at least it's over now..
and it went quite well i think..
i love the harp costume!
so nice..
ahaha..
but i think if you guys were to see it you all would probably think i'm nuts so i won't go into details..
=D
anyway other than that the rest of the day was fine..
except that i had makeup on my face for the rest of the day..
i tried to wipe some off and thankfully most of it came off..
but my friends could still tell that i put makeup..
haha..
and then we had our first public speaking lesson today..
like all the instructors were guys..
you know those ang mors..
well i understand..
usually singaporeans don't speak very fluent english..
but our instructor told us that the way to improve at least 50% of our english was to take note of the 'ends of words' and 'slow down' when you talk..
so..
that's it for now..
chowz..

2006-02-05T17:06:00.000+08:00

ok..
this is for miss jesslyn han who demanded that i update my blog..
when she didn't update her blog for like 1 month..
haha..
oh well..
i can't believe i'm the only sec2 performing for harp for the prefects' installation..
the rest are all like sec3 and 4..
argh..
bleh why must it be me???
why can't they choose better ppl???
..
like there are lots of ppl who are loads better than me in sec2..
like esther for example..
she is like super good la..
but the problem is she's a prefect so she can't play..
haiz..
hmm..
ah who cares..
since they chose me i might as well do my best..
can't wait for saturday..
haha..
like quite fun..
except we have to wear oriental style..
which will be quite uncomfortable..
and don't, i repeat don't ask me if i'm bringing someone..
the only ppl i'm bringing are my bro and jesslyn and they're not bringing anyone else either..
=D
ok i'm done talking..

p.s miss jesslyn han are u happy now???haha..

2006-02-05T14:49:00.000+08:00

ok..
maybe i should just post this..
since everyone is doing the same thing..
haha..

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Valerie!

Olympic badminton rules say that valerie must have exactly fourteen feathers.
Long ago, the people of Nicaragua believed that if they threw valerie into a volcano it would stop erupting!
In the 1600s, tobacco was frequently prescribed to treat headaches, bad breath and valerie.
Apples are covered with a thin layer of valerie.
99 percent of the pumpkins sold in the US end up as valerie!
India tested its first nuclear valerie in 1974!
Valerie can squeeze her entire body through a hole the size of her beak.
Valerieolatry is the mindless worship of valerie!
Valerie is the world's largest rodent!
American Airlines saved forty thousand dollars a year by eliminating valerie from each salad served in first class.

2006-02-01T15:23:00.000+08:00

argh i have a freaking bad sore throat and running nose and a cough that's been with me since chinese new year's eve..
why must this happen to me now?
all chinese new year i couldn't eat any goodies at all..
oh..
wait a minute..
maybe God wants me to have a sore throat right before chinese new year so that i won't eat any chinese new year goodies and grow fat..!
yay..
good idea man..
haha..
God always comes up with the best ideas..
anyway..
hope all of u didn't fall into my category[which is having a sore throat before cny and not after eating too many goodies]..
cause if not u guys wouldn't be able to enjoy cny at all..
the goodies i mean..
anyway u guys are all so thin i bet God didn't give u a sore throat and whatnots because He too wants u all to eat more..
=D
ok gtg do my homework..
finding at least 100 problems with either one of the following:
1]classroom
2]bedroom
3]home
4]school
5]canteen
and i happen to be doing the classroom one..
which is quite hard because our class won the class theme/decoration competition!
but i guess it has nothing to do with that..
so..
..
chowz..

2006-01-30T12:58:00.000+08:00

happy lunar new year!!
may all of u have a God blessed year ahead..
with lots of love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and goodness and faithfulness and gentleness and self control..
in short, the fruit of the Spirit!
haha..
ok chowz..
=D

2006-01-23T22:50:00.000+08:00

hey..
sorry for failing to update my blog these past few days..
i was too busy, u see..
doing homework and study and all that stuff..
haha..
oh well..
at least i can blog once in a while..
..
i love school!
haha..
well, its nice and fun[sometimes]and interesting[sometimes] and exciting[sometimes]..
everything is like sometimes..
well, life's like that..
u'll never know if ur day will be all that stuff i've mentioned..
and u'd have probably noticed that i'm typing in proper english[except for some words]..
i thought that if i were to continue using singlish and short forms, i would fall into the trap of using them all the time, even in school..
so..i stopped typing in singlish and short forms[except for some words]..
=D
anyway..
one thing i cannot believe so far is that quite some people have said that i lost weight..
which, in my point of view, is not true..
but the good thing is that none of the youths have said that..
and that proves that our generation have absolutely no problem with our eyesight[including those who wear spectacles]..
=D
haha i'm lame..
oh well..
gtg now..
chowz..

2006-01-18T15:18:00.000+08:00

i..
will..
never..
be..
able..
to..
stand..
my..
brother..
anymore..
from..
now..
onwards..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
i hate my life..

2006-01-11T18:07:00.000+08:00

ah..
1 wk of school has passed..
n its not that bad..
haha..
ok some ppl may think im mad..
but dun worry im not..
haha..
but seriously..
school really was ok..
but the bad thing is i got a lot of homework 2 do..
haiz..
but i guess its for our own good..
coz got streaming this yr..
so muz work hard..
in fact very hard..
so dun be surprised if i bring like a textbk everywhere i go..
even in church..
haha..
but i dunno y everyone is like..
what the..
y study now?
but theres a good reason for me studying now..
coz..
theres streaming..
duh..
if not what?
streaming muz like start studying now lor..
if not later u kan chiong then cannot..
so..
muz start studying now..
n for something like o'lvls..
im gonna start studying like..
maybe..
the previous yr in october?
hey..
ya thats a good idea..
haha..
=D
oh well..
got 2 do homework now..
then later still got tuition..
haiz..
busy day 2day..
ok chowz..

2006-01-07T17:41:00.000+08:00

ok..
i found out yesterday but whatever..
both my sec1 form teacher(ms lau)n my p6 form teacher(ms tan)r leaving pl..
..
y???
not fair..
n both of them r super good summore..
argh..
ms lau going 2 scgs..
but i dunno which school ms tan is going 2..
aniwaez..
whatever schools they r going 2 r super lucky 2 haf such a good teacher..
if only they would stay in pl..
haiz..
oh well..
juz wanna say thanks 2 both ms lau n ms tan 4 being such wonderful teachers..
wun 4get what they haf done 4 both me n my class..
haha..
ok gtg now..
going out 2 eat dinner..
at some sushi place in heartland mall..
argh will get fatter again..
oh well..
chowz..
=D

2006-01-06T17:20:00.000+08:00

hmm..
ok let me tell u..
many of u will probably ask me hows school so far..
well..
its half ok and half not ok..
the half thats ok is bcoz my form teacher is super nice and most of my other teachers r also nice..
the half thats not ok is bcoz 2 of my teachers r males..
n then both my english n maths teachers r very nice..
n then the had 2 band us 4 english n maths..
n they had 2 split us up into different classes according 2 our last yr end of yr exam marks..
4 2a1 2a2 n 2b1..
n 4 some reason i had 2 be put into 2a1..
n the teachers there r like not as good as my class' teachers..
like i wan my class' teachers lor..
they r like sososososososososo much nicer than the stupid 2a1's teachers..
y?
y??
y???
haiz..
oh well..
muz try n stick wif the fact that im stuck in 2a1 4 english n maths 4 the whole yr..
argh..
oh well..
other than that school was quite ok la..
but i scared cannot meet the teachers' expectations..
coz the teachers haf very high expectations 4 'a' classes ma..
so muz work hard la..
especially this yr got streaming..
thinking of taking pure sciences n amaths..
those who r like older can gif me some advice if i shud take these subjects..
thanks..
ok gtg do homework now..
chowz..
=D

2005-12-30T22:30:00.000+08:00

yay..
finally im back from genting..
haha..
but wait..
it may be bad news 4 some ppl..
who dun like me..
or worse..
hate me..
argh im talking nonsense..
aniwae..
quite ok trip la..
but the problem is we only stayed in the indoor theme park..
then the outdoor one nvr go..
haiz..
wasted..
n all bcoz of my mother..
she go n say that the outdoor rides all very dangerous..
then she scared later we fall from the ride coz of some loose barrier or whatever..
like whatever..
but aniwae..
there was this new ride called 'flying coaster'..
not frm the indoor theme park..
not frm the outdoor theme park..
it was juz..
well..
parked there in the middle of nowhere..
but my father n i sat on it..
n it was super cool man..
sooooooo fun..
got upside-down part..
haha..
not scary at all la..
but other than that the trip was quite boring..
nothing 2 do..
n now i stink..
ok going 2 take a bath now..
chowz..
=D

2005-12-27T23:10:00.000+08:00

hey..
ok sori 2 tell u guys this but..
im going to genting 2moro..
haha..
malaysia again..
haiz..
oh well..
better than nothing..
so juz wanted 2 inform u guys 2 try not 2 call or msg me(not that any of u usually do)anytime until friday night..
ok..
thats all i haf 2 say..
abt my trip la..
haha..
aniwae something wierd happened 2day..
well actually juz now..
i wanted 2 watch 'the adventures of sharkboy n lavagirl'..
if any of u think this show is lame then nvm..
aniwae..
then my bro said ok n he put it in the dvd player..
n then juz when we were watching the first part..
he said he wanted 2 watch 'animusic'..
i dun think many of u noe this..thing..
but aniwae..
then he 'threatened' to turn off the dvd player if i didnt let him watch whatever he wanted 2 watch..
but i argued back..
so he said we play scissors paper stone(lame)n whoever was the winner could watch the show of his/her choice..
but actually i argued abit more..
then i gave up n played wif him scissors paper stone..
then in the end..
guess who won?
my bro..
then i was so angry at him that i cried..
i actually cried..
4 like 10mins..
but the thing is..
i cant believe that i cried over such a small thing..
hmm..
mood swings?
nah..
i dun even remember having them..
aiyah..
so whoever is reading this..
the nxt time u see me..
plz dun laugh at me..
i noe i maybe abit childish in some way..
but please..
keep ur mimicking n laughter n whatever thoughts u haf 2 urself..
if u happen 2 not think that im childish..
then nvm..
aiyah im talking a whole load of crap..
:(

2005-12-26T15:16:00.000+08:00

ok..
in the end i went caroling..
haha..
thanks to wilfred n cherie..
who actually pestered my mother until she let me n my bro go..
haha..
jess also..
n she said that willy was actually 'quarreling' wif my mother..
like quite heated conv..
haha..
ok im talking crap..
aniwae..
caroling was super good..
but the bad thing was i kana pair up wif alan..
walao..
jess n christabel..
when these 2 crappy ppl heard that they had to pair up wif someone they like magnets like that..
faster stick to each other..
then since alan was there then i kana pair up wif him la..
like..
but actually i was like heck care la..
aniwae we 4 always like sat 2gether on the bus..
n stood 2gether while caroling..
so it was quite ok la..
haha..
aniwae..
still haf tons of hw 2 do..
like 75%..
haha..
i very bad..
wait until last wk of hols the do..
haiz..
shud haf done earlier..
argh nvm..
too late aniwae..
ok gtg do it now..
chowz..
=D

2005-12-24T14:25:00.000+08:00

wa..
feel so good after shopping yesterday..
haha..
aniwae bought some new clothes..
n i got a new dog!
yay!
but its the soft toy one..
haha..
got u guys..
aniwae..
i bought it on thursday..
in heartland mall..
wif my dad..
after erhu class..
haha..
n its like super cute man..
like im holding it now..
haha..
aniwae..
ok gtg now..
do some more hw..
haiz..
ok..
bb
=D

2005-12-23T13:56:00.000+08:00

yay im going shopping 2dae!!
woohoo!
=D

2005-12-22T17:49:00.000+08:00

so bored 2dae..
haiz..
but later got erhu class..
if any of u dunno whats erhu then forget it..
but aniwae..
im learning wif my dad..
haha..
n im like the youngest in the whole group..
haha..
coz only old ppl learn erhu i guess..
mind u im not saying that my dad is old hor..
in fact hes one of the youngest..
haha..
aniwae..
really hope that i can go christmas shopping 2moro..
then i can buy lots of new stuff..
haha..
so if i really do go shopping 2moro..
i would haf alot of new clothes..
yay..
ah whatever..
but i suppose i will be wearing at least 1 thing new on sunday..
which is my new sport shoes..
haha..
but muz spare some thought 2 those ppl who wun be getting anything new 4 christmas..
ya..
so shud i or shud i not wear my new stuff on sunday?
hmm..
aiya im talking alot of crap..
so aniwae..
but im going 2 my aunts house 4 dinner on sat..
after which im gonna weigh like 2kg heavier..
haiz..
oh well..
muz exercise more la..
haha..
=P

2005-12-20T19:31:00.000+08:00

juz came back from ice-skating at
the shopping centre nxt 2 jurong east mrt station(dunno what the name is..diaoz)..
first time..
haha..
but i already noe the concept of skating coz i noe how 2 roller-blade..
so i started off slow(duh)..
n then i wanted 2 try it myself..
n then after that..
after gaining my confidence..
i started going faster n faster..
but of course not as fast as those speed skaters who were there..
n they were really really really damn fast..
like..
walao..
shiok man..
if only i could skate as fast as them..
aniwae..
as i was saying..
i started going faster n faster..
n then i stopped at a particular speed coz i was scared that if i went too fast i would not be able to stop in time 2 prevent myself from banging into someone..
then i was like going round n round n round..
so fun!
n it was also quite cool 2 see if i could avoid anyone fast..
haha..
im lame..
but we had 2 leave like so so early..
like 5..
so we only had like 2 1/2hrs..
which in my opinion was too short..
but the gd thing is that our time is unlimited..
which meant that we could haf stayed there until the thing closed..
but we bought the group ticket..
which meant that we had 2 leave all at the same time..
haiz..
aniwae..
i had so much fun 2dae..
hope 2 go again sometime..
=D

2005-12-19T19:07:00.000+08:00

um..
sori..
one mistake i made..
in the post where i said 'tuesdays wif morrie' was going 2 be the 50something-th bk im gonna read?
i juz realised it 2dae..
its not the 50something-th bk..
its the 80something-th book..
haha..
diaoz..
i read so freaking much..

2005-12-19T15:30:00.000+08:00

blah..
haiz..
weekdays again..
boring..
but got tons of hw 2 do..
bleah..
i like hardly touched my hw at all during the hols..
now im rushing like mad..
haha..
ok see if u think this is alot of hw 2 u..
english..
3 compres
2 book reviews
2 newspaper reviews
chinese..
2 compos
science..
1 ws
literature..
read lit book(clay marble) n do some stupid thing abt it
no apparent subject..
commonwealth essay competition - write an essay(500-700 words) abt one of the following subjects:
1.choose a well-known proverb/saying which is used in ur own/another
commonwealth country.illustrate what it means n/or how it originated.
2.u haf juz been elected 2 an impt position in ur sch/community.write an acceptance speech thanking ur supporters n explaining what u will do.(be realistic![btw this is actually what they said])
3.how hard is it 2 keep a secret?
4.a person(perhaps u) changes places wif an animal 4 a day.describe the day from the person's/animal's point of wiew.
5.write a story ending wif the words"...and there were none."
like..
wth..
all so bo liao..
n guess what?
i haf 2 finish it by this wk coz nxt wk im going 2 genting..
wth..
my life is so so hectic..
haiz..

2005-12-18T14:08:00.000+08:00

let me ask u something..
do u noe y my mother wun let me go caroling nxt wk?
bcoz she thinks im 'too young'..
um..
excuse me?
im too young??
like..
what kind of reason is that?
wth..
isnt caroling supposed to be for the benefit of the residents who r not christians around church?
like..
duh..
haiz..
oh well..
nvm la..
ok juz wanna say a big big big sori to dom whose party i cant come to coz im going to genting..
sheesh..
oh..
n a big big big happy birthday in advance to him as well..
try to get something for u la hor..
haha..

2005-12-17T00:33:00.000+08:00

just had buffet dinner 2nite..
feel super fat now..
haiz..
muz exercise more..
dammit la..
i accidently said that im not fat when i was talking to my aunt..
diaoz..
wait wait wait..
i didnt mean it..
like of course not..
duh..
what i really meant was --..
argh nvm..
but i already made the big big big mistake..
regretting like hell now..
n whats worse..
my bros gonna talk his mouth off abt it..
freak..
i hate myself..

2005-12-15T16:05:00.000+08:00

juz came back from pulau ubin..
ok sori i thought that was in malaysia..
then i asked some of u guys not to msg me..
haha..
n then it turned out that it wasnt..
until 2day..
they sent me the sms saying "welcome to malaysia!"..
diaoz..
so dumb..
last day then they sent me..
dumb dumb..
haiz..
aniwae..
back home..
got like 9 mosquito bites..
thank God i didnt get dengue..
haha..
but still very itchy..
sheesh..
aniwae..
n guess how much i gained?
like 1.6kg!!
argh..
all my hard work wasted..
dang it la..
but nvm..
i will work harder!
until i lose like atleast 5kg..
then i will be satisfied..
yeah..
hm..

2005-12-11T17:52:00.000+08:00

ok..
juz finished 1/2hr of hula-hooping..
going to do 1/2hr more later..
u may think doing hula-hoops is lame but nvm..
im still trying to lose weight..
haha..
still fat..
only lost like 0.6kg in the past week..
still working on it..
yeah..
n i dun think any of u can believe it but im still missing camp..
haiz..
but not so much now..
coz i got God to focus on..
going to finish 'tuesdays with Morrie' already..
wonderful book..
very inspiring..
n very meaningful..
haha..
this is going to be my 50-something book im going to finish reading this year..
wow..
i cant believe i read so much..
haha..
aniwae..

2005-12-08T11:09:00.000+08:00

5 days since camp ended..
n i still miss it..
what is wrong with me???
oh well..
i miss every church camp n bay camp that ive been to so..
haiz..
ok..
maybe there is something wrong with me..

2005-12-06T12:17:00.000+08:00

haiz..
y camp finish so fast one???
not fair..
everytime u enjoy something it passes by so fast..
then everytime u hate doing something it seems like years b4 it ends..
y?
y??
y???
i hate my life..
n i hate myself..
so short..
so ugly..
most importantly..
so FAT..
haiz..
sori tian en..
i cant help it..
im still fat..
so sori..
from now on i will strive to be at least 10kg lighter than i am now..
is that reasonable enough?
i dunno..
but im gonna stick to it..
yeah..

2005-11-29T10:58:00.000+08:00

alamak..
forgot to post again..
freak..
oh well..
forget abt my last post..
i think i wasnt in my right mind..
so juz forget abt it ok?
ok now back to the present..
camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp camp..
i cant wait..
only a few hrs away..
faster faster faster faster..
cant time go faster????
sheesh..
so slow..
then still haf to wait until 12nn then can play ms..
walao..
nothing to do..
so boring..
haiz..
tell me what shud i do?
sleep?
no..
im not tired..
eat?
no..
that will make me fat..
read?
no..
ok naturally my answer would be a yes but im not in the mood now..
too excited abt the camp..
play with my hamster?
no i juz did..
um..
ah nvm..
juz find something online games to play..
:)

2005-11-16T13:11:00.000+08:00

ok i admit it..
i momentarily forgot to post in my blog..
haiz..
dang it how can i be so forgetful???????
oh well..
nvm..

i juz realised something..
ok maybe i realised this long ago but aniwae..
im becoming one of the most hated ppl in my class..
with the exception of my frens..
like abt 6 ppl..
but then..
other ppl hardly talk to me..
even when i try to say hi they juz walk away like im no there or reluctantly say a hi before giving me a look that says 'wierd'..
haiz..
then when the teacher puts me in one of their grps for grpwk, to the teacher they haf no expression but inside im sure they r thinking 'walao y muz the teacher put HER in my grp?'
like there was this one time, we were supposed to get into pairs..
then since my class has an odd number of ppl theres bound to be one person wif no partner..
n i was the idiot who didnt get a partner..
n the teacher din even notice..
she juz continued talking like everyone got a partner..
sheesh..

but at least i haf some frens..
which is what i muz be grateful to God for..
if not if i haf no frens i might as well tiao lou zi sha right?
ok..
maybe not..
but at least i would feel like doing juz that right?
haiz..
but our purpose of life on earth is to spread the word of God to ppl who havent got to noe him yet..
so even if i haf no frens i still muz fulfil my purpose right..
so i muz continue to work hard..
find ways of talking to my frens abt Christ..
so that they too can be saved..
n spend the rest of their lives wif God in their hearts..

2005-11-08T21:26:00.000+08:00

hihi..
sori i didnt update my blog guys..
too busy playing ms..
haha..
aniwae..
someone muz remind me to update my blog regularly..
i dunno..
hmm..
cant wait for the bay camp to come..
coz its on evangelism..
haha..
..right..?
oh well..
whatever it is, im gonna make it as meaningful as possible..
yeah..

2005-09-26T21:35:00.000+08:00

exams now..
no time to blog..
so will be away for a while..
when exams finish then i will bombard this web..
haha..
aniwae..
have to study everyday..
today juz got english and chinese paper 1..
compo..
i hate compos..
haiz..
oh well..
must study hard..
to get good results..
and make my parents happy..
well, actually its for my own good..
actually its for god..
haha..
ok..
mother nagging at me to study now..
gtg now..
bb..
:)

2005-09-06T11:20:00.000+08:00

lalala..
hols..
fun..
boring, actually..
nothing to do except study..
and play computer games..
and watch tv..
ah well..
life's like that..
but this friday is the day i've been waiting for..
arielle's b'day party!
although it's not her b'day yet..
but aniwae..
we're going bowling!
and watching a movie!
well..
personally i dun really like the movie we're going to watch..
it's 'herbie: fully loaded'..
i prefer 'charlie and the chocolate factory'..
or 'the adventures of shark boy and lava girl'..
oh well..
must appreciate what i have..
at least we're going to watch a movie, right..
haha..
ok going now..
cya later..

2005-08-31T16:02:00.000+08:00

Happy Teachers' Day!!
this is for sch teachers as well as Sun sch teachers..
2moro no sch..
so happy..
finally i can have more than half an hour to read my book..
n i can watch videos..
n play computer..
haha..
but Friday still have 1 more day of sch..
sheesh..
but after that is the term break..
goody..
happy..
going out with Auntie Chiew Ping and my Sun sch class this Sat..
happy happy..
invited to my friend's b'day party next Fri..
happy happy happy..
ok..
off to play summore computer..
im going..

hello again..

2005-08-24T16:59:00.000+08:00

harlo..
long time no see..
n see time no long..
too much homework to do..
have to stay up late to do..
need to stay in school until like 5-6pm then can go home summore..
so sian..
oh ya..
congrats to Jodie n Kimberly for being our class prefects..
congrats to Robyn for making it this far..i know she has worked hard..
congrats to all who tried..
ok..
nothing else to say..
gotta go do homework now..
bye..

humiliated..

2005-08-02T17:30:00.000+08:00

ok thats it..
the results r out..
n i didn't get in..
as expected..
not enough votes..
not enough frens to vote for me..
all those popular ppl obviously got in..
not popular enough..
ok..
too upset to talk about it animore..

so long..

2005-07-29T16:49:00.000+08:00

hello again..
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..
so long haven't got results..
can't blame them..takes a long time to tabulate the votes..
not sure if i will get in for the last round though..
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..
why do i have so much homework???????????????????????
cannot finish..
then have to stay back for cca n life science some more..
n my results r not improving..
aniwae..
thank God for bringing my mother safely out of hospital..
so boring without her..
i mean..at least she has, like, a sense of humour (sometimes) rite???????
makes us laugh..
cannot go to bay 2moro..
have to study maths..which is, like, getting more n more hard..
so i get more n more lousy at it..
my tea duty on sunday..
first time..
oh well..gtg now..
cya..